Elegant and sophisticated biography of Princess Margaret, the controversial sister of Queen Elizabeth II, the Princess Diana of her day'A fascinating insight into the life of the party girl who became an icon in postwar Britain' DAILY EXPRESS'She was a witty, intelligent, stimulating companion - happily Tim Heald captures all these qualities in his admirably well-balanced biography' LITERARY REVIEWThe almost univers...

After a boozy Oxford reunion, Bognor is distressed to learn one of his classmates is a killer. Nothing depresses Simon Bognor like a university reunion. Every pimply-faced boy he knew two decades prior has made something of himself, while Bognor languishes at the Board of Trade, muddling along in an investigatory position for which he is hideously unqualified. Although more often than not his job requires catching murderers, he lacks even the observational powers to notice when the head of...

A poisoned poodle drags Bognor into the high-stakes world of international dog smugglingWhately Wonderful is taking himself on his morning walk when he spies the slab of sirloin. An exceptionally well-bred poodle, he knows there is something odd about the great hunk of meat, but temptation overwhelms him. Just a few minutes after he gobbles up the suspicious steak, Whately is dead, and the world of British dog breeding will never be the same.Board of Trade i...

Description Denis Compton was one of England's -indeed cricket's -greatest batsmen. In the summer of 1947 alone he scored 18 hundreds. A flashing strokeplayer who could take any bowling attack apart, he also played football at the highest level, winning an FA Cup-winners medal with Arsenal. The original 'Brylcreem Boy', perhaps British sport's first true media personality, Compton cut a dashing figure, and when he died was mourned as the kind of cricketer whose like we shall never see agai...

Bognor braves the frost to discover who has murdered Canada's richest man. In his lavish private train car, Sir Roderick Farquhar draws a bath. When it has been filled to his satisfaction, the portly captain of industry tips in three drops of bath oil and lowers himself into the steam. Within seconds, the poison in the oil has stopped his heart and ruined Simon Bognor's winter. A special investigator for Britain's Board of Trade, Bognor makes the mistake of believing a Canadian friend's as...

Bognor tries to understand how a publishing magnate could have been crushed by smut. Before retiring for the night, Vernon Hemlock pours a brandy, lights a cigar, and takes a look at his cache of pornography. Far more than a wad of dirty magazines stashed under a mattress, this is a collection of some of the world's finest erotica, dating back as far as a dirty doodle drawn by da Vinci. The millionaire publisher is perusing the Swedish section when the shelves begin to move. By the time he...

In the dullest town in England, Bognor becomes enmeshed in a civic club murderEnglish politicians love to prattle on about the honest mettle of towns like Scarpington—mid-sized cities full of ugly buildings, ugly people, and a surfeit of wholesome values. In hopes of learning more about just what the nation's heartland is up to, the Board of Trade orders special investigator Simon Bognor to relocate to Scarpington and not to return until he knows what makes the plac...

In the dullest town in England, Bognor becomes enmeshed in a civic club murder. English politicians love to prattle on about the honest mettle of towns like Scarpington - mid-sized cities full of ugly buildings, ugly people, and a surfeit of wholesome values. In hopes of learning more about just what the nation's heartland is up to, the Board of Trade orders special investigator Simon Bognor to relocate to Scarpington and not to return until he knows what makes the place tick. It does not ...

During one long summer during the mid-1980's, Tim Heald toured England, absorbing the flavour of at least one cricket ground in every first-class county, and a good many more besides. He wanted to discover the true character of the English game, among those who ate, slept and dreamt cricket in all corners of the country. The results are charming, heart-warmingly funny, and often surprising. In conversation with the kind of people who give the game its backbone -a gateman at Leicester, the ...

When a restaurateur dies suspiciously, Bognor is forced to eat his way to the truthDinner service is over, the staff has left, and Escoffier Savarin Smith is about to tuck into a couple of bottles of champagne. He seals the windows with electrical tape, fiddles with a canister of gas, and begins to drink. When his staff arrives the next morning to open the restaurant, the champagne is drunk, the air has been poisoned, and the greatest chef in England is dead—seemin...

To learn who killed a loathsome gossip columnist, Bognor joins the paperStaggering homeward from a banquet, St. John Derby decides it would be easier to stagger back to work instead. When he reaches his desk, the booze-addled gossip columnist treats himself to a massive tumbler of port and calls for a taxi. By the time the cab arrives, the port is spilled on the carpet, mingling with the blood leaking from Derby's cut throat. No one will mourn his death.Spec...

An ancient country custom goes awry, killing a man and spoiling Bognor's holiday. At the annual Clout, the men of Herring do as they have done for centuries, firing arrows blindly into the woods and allowing their women to retrieve what they have shot. Nobody ever kills anything, but it's a jolly time nonetheless - until the day when a few of the arrows find their mark, pinning a wayward customs inspector to a tree in a bloody parody of Saint Sebastian. It's rotten luck for the dead man, a...