A mother, answering her phone, hears her daughter shrieking and screaming. Terrified, she calls the police who arrive at the daughter's house, batter down the door--and find the daughter, nude, in her bedroom having sex with her boyfriend. Apparently her toe hit the automatic dial button for her mother's number on the bedroom phone. A man, swimming in a Florida pool, sees the pool intake pipe and gets a unique idea. Hours later, after police, firemen, and EMT personnel are called, the man ...

**Too lazy to drive to his girlfriend's house, a man ties helium balloons to a lawn chair--and ends up at 15,000 feet, closing the L. A. airport.*A Chinese contraception program causes the birth rate to rise when men are discovered taking birth control pills and unrolling condoms over their fingers--exactly as shown in the training film.*A gang of Norwegian thieves carefully uses explosives to open a safe--only to find the safe is filled with dynamite. . .*In the na...

A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous and infamous figures past and present -- a complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth champions of all time.

A compendium of 100 words and phrases smart people use--even if they only kinda sorta (secretly don't) know what they mean--with pithy definitions and fascinating etymologies to solidify their meanings.Your boss makes a joke about Schrodinger's cat--which is something you've heard of but you're a little vague about what exactly happened (or didn't happen) with that cat. Or you're reading a New Yorker article that explains that "Solecism slipped into solips...

A compendium of 100 words and phrases smart people use--even if they only kinda sorta (secretly don't) know what they mean--with pithy definitions and fascinating etymologies to solidify their meanings.Your boss makes a joke about Schrodinger's cat--which is something you've heard of but you're a little vague about what exactly happened (or didn't happen) with that cat. Or you're reading a New Yorker article that explains that "Solecism slipped into solips...

Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and nonsense from famous and infamous figures past and present, are all here in one digest that will have you howling with laughter. Imagine saying to the Beatles, "You'll never make it…Go back to Liverpool." That's what a Decca Records executive told the Fab Four in 1962. Senator S.I. Hayakawa allegedly pointed out, "The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep."Siblings and stupidity experts Ross and Kathryn Petras continue their f...

An entertaining and informative guide to the most common 150 words even smart people use incorrectly, along with pithy forays into their fascinating etymologies and tangled histories of use and misuse.Even the most erudite among us use words like apocryphal, facetious, ironic, meteorite, moot, redundant, and unique incorrectly every day. Don’t be one of them. Using examples of misuse from leading newspapers, prominent public figures and famous writers, among others...

The 1, 2, 3s of adulthood differ ever so slightly from the popular grade-school primers of yesteryear inside Ross and Kathryn Petras's 1, 2, Can't Reach My Shoe. This clever counting book for the middle-aged (which the United States Census Bureau defines as age 35 and above) is perfect for readers of a certain vintage who intend to grow old gracefully—and with a sense of humor.Featuring full-color, retro illustrations in a playful board book format, 1, 2, Can't Reach M...

For word nerds and grammar geeks, a witty guide to the most commonly mispronounced words, along with their correct pronunciations and pithy forays into their fascinating etymologies and histories of use and misuse.With wit and good humor, this handy little book not only saves us from sticky linguistic situations but also provides fascinating cocktail-party-ready anecdotes. Entries reveal how to pronounce boatswain like an old salt on the deck of a ship, trompe ...

Everyone carries within them the longing to be happy and to make a difference in life. This is how human beings are by nature, for they are a part of this great creation and represent the pinnacle of what God has created. But most people live isolated lives, removed from the great divine system, and are no longer aware of their power. The author uses her life story to inspire readers to experience the power of their own hearts, which can, in the truest sense of the word, move the world. Sh...

Timeless in their wisdom, thought-provoking in their message, surprising in their truth and memorable in their originality, the right words can give direction, inspiration, and sometimes a tangible boost onto the right path. For example, Steve Jobs once read “Stay hungry Stay foolish” on the back cover of The Whole Earth Catalog, and those four words came to guide his life.Created by Kathryn and Ross Petras, connoisseurs of quotes, whose books and calendars have over 56 mi...

A hilarious collection of lists, statistics, news items, quotations, and facts detailing stupid acts of Americans from all walks of life—by the authors of the bestselling The 776 Stupidest Things Ever SaidEveryone knows that America is “the land of the free and the home of the brave,” but sometimes that means we’re free to be as bravely stupid as we want! In Unusually Stupid Americans, Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras assemble choice bits of stupidity, U.S.A.-style,...