**There are 22 candidates.**There are 12 seats.The last interstellar colony ship is down to its final batch of humans after the robots in charge unhelpfully deleted the rest. But rebooting a species and training them for the arduous task of colonisation isn't easy - especially when the planet below is filled with monsters, the humans are more interested in asking questions than learning, and the robots are all programmed to kill each other.But the fate of h...

Popular comedy writer James Breakwell brings us the story of a determined boy with big dreams who remains undeterred by all the naysayers!Tommy knows exactly what he wants to be when he grows up. But when he announces that he plans to be a pterodactyl, it turns out he’s surrounded by skeptics (because what would he eat? Where would he live? How would he make money?). What’s a kid with a big dream to do? Well first of all, he’s not about to give up. (And he has a lo...

There's no wrong way to be a woman. There are countless wrong ways to be a man.James Breakwell should know. He's tried just about all of them. Journalism. Pig ownership. Felony lawn gnome theft. Whatever masculinity is supposed to be, this can't be it. But can you really fail at something no one can quite define? Apparently.Now, in a series of funny, sharply observed, and occasionally poignant essays, everyone's favorite internet-famous father of four daugh...

The parenting humorist behind the viral Twitter account @XplodingUnicorn and author of Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent's Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse presents the long-awaited guide to surviving everything elseIn the era of instant parent shaming and viral hot takes, some questions are too dangerous to ask out loud: What's the proper first aid for my toddler's vampire bite? What should I do if I take a wrong turn on the way to soccer practice and end ...

This isn't a book about overachieving at parenting.This isn't even a book about achieving exactly the right amount.This is a book about doing as little as possible without quite ruining your child.Overachieving parents want you to believe the harder you work, the better your kid will turn out. That lie ends now.The truth is most kids end up remarkably unremarkable no matter what you do, so you might as well ...

It's not easy being a parent these days. There are bills to pay. Kids to feed. And hordes of undead monsters to keep at bay.There are plenty of guides out there about how to survive the zombie apocalypse. All of them assume readers are young, fit, and unencumbered by children. In that scenario, the only living humans left will be smug, outdoorsy Millennials. That's hell on earth, even without the zombies.Only Dead on the Inside is the answer for th...

Delta is having a bad day. After the chaos of the Chosen Twelve crash-landing on Spenser Island, and Delta losing the love of her life, she just wants to hide from the world.But this is impossible when eleven dumb kids all look up to her as their leader on this barren island that is now their home... and their immortality machine is broken. Despite all the creatures out there who could eat them, everyone is too busy going through puberty and making smoochy faces at each other to ev...

This isn’t a book about overachieving at parenting.This isn’t even a book about achieving exactly the right amount.This is a book about doing as little as possible without quite ruining your child.Overachieving parents want you to believe the harder you work, the better your kid will turn out. That lie ends now.The truth is most kids end up remarkably unremarkable no matter what you do, so you might as well achieve mediocrity by the easiest possible...

The parenting humorist behind the viral Twitter account @XplodingUnicorn and author of Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent’s Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse presents the long-awaited guide to surviving everything else.In the era of instant parent shaming and viral hot takes, some questions are too dangerous to ask out loud: What’s the proper first aid for my toddler’s vampire bite? What should I do if I take a wrong turn on the way to soccer practice and end up in the Cretac...

It's not easy being a parent these days. There are bills to pay. Kids to feed. And hordes of undead monsters to keep at bay.There are plenty of guides out there about how to survive the zombie apocalypse. All of them assume readers are young, fit, and unencumbered by children. In that scenario, the only living humans left will be smug, outdoorsy Millennials. That's hell on earth, even without the zombies.Only Dead on the Inside is the answer for the rest of us.Writt...

Isolated and alone, the last twelve humans, all of them children, scramble to create a new civilization on the alien island that is now their home—and prison—for the rest of time.Waylaid on all sides by hostile aquatic lifeforms that emerge from the deadly waters every night, the dozen survivors fight under the guidance of their de facto leader, Delta, who led the insurrection against the children's robot overlords just days before. But even as the twelve struggle ...

There's no wrong way to be a woman. There are countless wrong ways to be a man.James Breakwell should know. He's tried just about all of them. Journalism. Pig ownership. Felony lawn gnome theft. Whatever masculinity is supposed to be, this can't be it. But can you really fail at something no one can quite define? Apparently.Now, in a series of funny, sharply observed, and occasionally poignant essays, everyone's favorite internet-famous father of four daugh...