A psychic medium with performance issues, a priest with questionable work ethics, and a vengeful traffic reporter are just a few of the crazy characters that you will run across in this crazy collection of Mark and Jeff's hilarious monologues.

They came in peace, unfortunately the good folks of Little Lump, Texas didn't get the memo. They're really embarrassed, especially Gertie who managed to shoot down several of the alien's space ships with her holy land-to-air rocket launcher. Little did she realize in doing so that she would be unknowingly creating a far bigger danger for Little Lump that could spell doom for them all. To her and everyone else's disbelief, undead Japanese snow monkeys are slowly approaching the town and now...

The Wardens Association continues to protect the human race from extermination by climatic extremes. That is, when they're not turning on their own...Joanne's survived one challenge - technically - but now she's got a whole new set of problems. After being accused of murder and chased across the county - and killed - by a team charged with hunting down rogue Wardens, Joanne's human life is over. Reborn into Djinnhood, she has to master her enhanced powers whilst trying to avoid being 'clai...

**An astonishing memoir from the author of The Paris Wife and When the Stars Go Dark, detailing the years Paula McLain and her two sisters spent as foster children after being abandoned by both parents in California in the early 1970s."Demonstrates the true meaning of family." —Chicago Tribune**As wards of the State, the sisters spent the next 14 years moving from foster home to foster home. The dislocations, confusions, and odd pleasures of an un...

Risking It All for Her Boss by Sharron McClellanHeroes for Hire: Big Risk. Big Reward. No Regrets.When High Risk Securities (HRS) agent, Eva Torres, botches an undercover job by failingto rescue both of the kidnap victims she was sent to retrieve, Quinn Blackwood—her formerlover and the man who broke her heart—pulls her and one of the victims out of harm's way.As a penalty for her sins, she's offered the dull job of escorting a...

From the bestselling author of the Morganville Vampires series Some Weather Wardens control fire, others control earth, water, or wind - and the most powerful can control more than one element. Without Wardens, Mother Nature would wipe humanity off the face of the earth...Joanne Baldwin is a Weather Warden. Usually, all it takes is a wave of her hand to tame the most violent weather. But now Joanne is trying to outrun another kind of storm: accusations of corruption and murder. So she's re...

Joe Sweety is the worst kind of bully -- big, mean, and always ready to use his fists. Chipmunk is the shiest, clumsiest kid at Rotten School. When Chipmunk is paired with Joe on the class trip, things get ugly -- and fast! Chipmunk spills his apple juice on Joe, he barfs on Joe, and he pulls down Joe's pants. All accidents, of course. But does Joe care? No way! He is out to get Chipmunk!Bernie Bridges can't stand to see Chipmunk, one of his Rotten House guys, bullied by big, mean ...

Everyone loves cats! What's not to love? In this book you will find 101 Hilarious jokes about the cats, and everything we enjoy laughing about our feline friends. Fill your days with laughter, give this book as a gift, or use it to entertain your loved ones. These punny jokes make great icebreakers and will lighten any mood. Great to use in a classroom, near events, or times when you just need a laugh.This collection of jokes is clean fun and family friendly, with no violence or of...

From Erika Swyler, author of The Book of Speculation—one of BuzzFeed’s Best Fiction Books of the year-- a short story of a mermaid who ran away from the circus, and what happened when she started a life on land.Before she was a suburban wife and mother, Paulina Watson was the Mermaid Girl of Carnival Lareille. She traveled everywhere with two boxes: the first with red sequins for the dress she wore as a magician’s assistant, the second with green sequins f...

For Raegan "Rae" Storm, the trouble in her life is as permanent as the tattoo stamped on her shoulder. After witnessing a double murder, she becomes the target of a bloodthirsty mafia and enters the Witness Protection Program in exchange for her testimony. With her life on the line, the last thing she expects is to lose her heart to the mysterious, handsome Quinn Bronson, the U.S. Marshal protecting her.Driven by honor and his commitment to his job, Bronson rescues Rae from threats...

Phoenix envies her brother Gryphon. The daredevil and sports hero has all of his recons left: three more chances at life. But she is left with only one, and learns that her beloved brother is responsible for one of her deaths. When Gryphon himself has an accident, the governing body Chrysalis refuses to recon him, deeming his death to be a suicide. His friends' code of silence makes it difficult to find out what happened, but Phoenix is determined to unravel the mystery and save her brothe...

Thirteen sharp, poignant stories detailing the almost panicked angst of the American generation as they approach thirty, from the New York Times bestselling author of Among the Missing“Remarkable . . . solid, moving, and pitch-perfect . . . Each story is a marvel of complexity, dense with meaning and nuance.”—The Cleveland Plain DealerStruggling with gaps between youthful expectations and adult experiences, these ...