"She goes a long way with her book to prove that humor is the best -- possibly the only -- way to keep the world on an even keel."CHICAGO SUN-TIMESRemember the things Mother used to say? Erma Bombeck remembers them all and now she's using them on her own kids! With clever illustrations by Bil Keane, these really funny, too-true observations on family and kids and why it shouldn't work but does, is a wonderful antitdote to the daily problems and crises that every family faces....

A collection of mordantly hilarious and sharply-observed stories on motherhood from the bestselling author of Family—The Ties That Bind . . . And Gag!Erma Bombeck has learned a few things about children and family over the years—and in a way that is uniquely and wonderfully her own, she shares everything she knows with her readers. Whether it's cleaning up after the kids and him, or expendable mothers-in-law, Erma Bombeck gets to the heart of the matter an...

"America's irrepressible doyenne of domestic satire."THE BOSTON GLOBEMadcap, bittersweet humor in classic Erma Bombeck-style. You'll laugh until it hurts and love it! "Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet, he's treading water. What do you mean you're a participle in the school play and you need a costume? Those rotten kids. If only they'd let me wake up in my own way. W...

Three hilarious books in one from the #1 New York Times–bestselling author on marriage, motherhood, and the absurdities of suburban life.If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? is Erma Bombeck's timelessly witty look at the hidden side of married life.Motherhood captures one of the toughest jobs on earth with humor and heart.The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank is Bombeck's take on th...

This touching and hilarious memoir is 100 percent Carol Burnett—funny, irreverent, and irresistible.Carol Burnett is one of the most beloved and revered actresses and performers in America. The Carol Burnett Show was seen each week by millions of adoring fans and won twenty-five Emmys in its remarkable eleven-year run. Now, in This Time Together, Carol really lets her hair down and tells one funny or touching or memorable story after another....

~b~>With the winning, upbeat candor that has made her show on of the most popular and honored daytime shows on the air, beloved talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres shares her views on life, love, and American Idol."I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned...

The hilarious #1 New York Times bestseller: Erma Bombeck's take on marriage and family life is "fun from cover to cover" ( Hartford Courant).Ever since she was a child, Er ma Bombeck has been an expert worrier, and married life has only honed that skill. She gets anxious about running out of ball bearings; about snakes sneaking in through the pipes; about making meaningful conversation on New Year's Eve. Married life, she realizes, is an unpredicta...

The "marvelously funny" and much-loved humorist explores the perils of suburban living in this New York Times bestseller ( Vogue).For years, the Bombecks have heard rumors of a magical land called Suburbia where the air is clean, the grass is trimmed, and children don't risk getting mugged on their walk to school. After watching their friends flee the city for subdivided utopias like Bonaparte's Retreat and Mortgage Mañana, Erma and her family load...

Before he became the hero of the Trojan War, young Odysseus battled monsters and magicYoung Prince Odysseus longs to be a hero. But when he and his travelling companions are captured on their way home to Ithaca, Odysseus learns that being a hero isn't always easy. Now Odysseus must fight dastardly pirates, survive the enchanted songs of sirens, slay monsters, and defeat a treacherous king. Worse still, Odysseus has to deal with girls: snooty, spoiled Prince...

Before he led the Argonauts on the quest for the Golden Fleece, Jason saved an ancient city . . .Jason is an orphan training to be a warrior under the instruction of the centaur Chiron. But when wild centaurs steal Chiron's most precious possessions—two jars of Gorgon's blood, one with the power to heal any wound and the other a poison deadly enough to massacre multitudes—Jason must recover the blood before it can destroy the city of Iolcus. As he undertakes the que...

Before Atalanta became a Greek legend, she encountered a beast . . .Abandoned by her parents and raised by bears until the age of four, Atalanta has led a life of adventure. After her adoptive father is slain by a ferocious beast, the twelve-year-old Atalanta sets off on a journey of revenge, accompanied by the bear she treats as a brother. She discovers that a monster is terrorizing the land of Arcadia and that the king has assembled a party to track it down—led by...

The #1 New York Times bestseller about one woman's doomed quest for self-improvement by a writer "blessed with the comic equivalent of perfect pitch" ( The Boston Globe).As far as Erma can tell, her life is going well. Her children speak to her, her husband smiles at her, and she's capable of looking in a mirror without screaming. But her friends know better. No matter how happy Erma thinks she is, she's in need of help, and the only way to fulfill...