This is the autobiography, or perhaps the public confessional, of the author. It will come as a complete shock to his family, friends and work colleagues who all think that they know him, but alas, they don't…His family certainly know nothing of his boxing and criminal underworld activities and if they did they wouldn't approve. His Fire Service colleagues know a little. And then there are the encounters with the opposite sex ...So the author, Secret Squirrel, has lived three separate live...

William McInnes' bestselling memoir, A Man's Got To Have A Hobby, takes us back to the long summer holidays of the 1960s and 70s, and the last of the baby-boomer childhoods. William writes with humour and affection about his family, and especially his mum and dad, who talked to the TV set and enjoyed life in their house near the bay.William McInnes is a talented writer and a natural storyteller. A tail-end baby boomer, he recalls summer holidays that seeme...

The dazzlingly funny second volume of Danny Baker's memoirs: the television years.Since my first book was published I have had countless friends and family members get in touch to say how come I hadn't included this story or that tale. Was I ashamed of being shot twice, once up the arse, in Jamaica Road? How long should a man live with such a secret? If by retrospectively dropping my trousers every few pages I can reveal a fuller picture of myself during these year...

What does a football hooligan firm do outside football? In the case of Mark Chester and the infamous Stoke City Naughty Forty, the answer was: live off their wits and burn the candle at both ends. Chester left Stoke in the mid-Eighties in search of something more than the buzz of terrace violence. He lived in North Africa with a pickpocket gang called The Hawks and dealt hash and coke in the Spanish coastal resorts, fighting off rival Moroccan dealers. After returning to London as a down-a...

Life behind Bars: Confessions of a Pub Landlady is an exhilarating account of life in the licensed trade. This hilariously funny collection of tales will have your sides splitting as Kate and Linda recount some of their most memorable experiences as pub landladies. Anyone who has lived in the Lothians in Scotland and drunk in the pubs that abound there will most likely recognise at least one, if not more, of the characters who feature in this book. For those of you living elsewhere you wil...

As seen on This Time with Alan Partridge on BBC One.THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERPraise for Nomad:'Funniest book of the year' Sunday Telegraph'Alan Partridge's Nomad is almost certainly the funniest book ever written' Caitlin Moran'Sensationally funny. What brilliant writing' Richard Osman'Sensational' Jenny Colgan'Hilarious' Jon Ronson'Brilliantly...

''For the first time in my young military career, those recruitment posters showing lads windsurfing and relaxing on the beach swam into my mind s eye without a trace of irony.''Young soldier Eddy Nugent can't believe his luck. It's 1991, and he's been posted to tropical Belize - where he works seven hours a week and spends the rest of his time drinking, swimming in the Caribbean and getting to know the local ladies.It's all a far cry from the rainy Manchester streets where ...

'Many times I heard people say that you'll have no friends if you're a policeman. How wrong they were. If you were right with them, they were right with you.'PC Martyn Johnson is back on the beat with more hilarious and heart-warming stories from the golden age of policing.With his nose for trouble and a knack for mischief, there's no such thing as a quiet shift for the friendly Yorkshire bobby - from drunken dogs and runaway horse...

In this book my father dies. I almost die.*** My showbiz career winds down. And yet everyone keeps telling me it's the funniest book I've ever written. If I'd known that's what the public wanted, I'd have cancelled Pets Win Prizes and just got sick sooner.Along the way this time we encounter, among others, David Bowie, Kanye West (I think), John Cleese, Peter O'Toole, and have several adventures in the Fourth Dimension. Oh, and I can reveal the Man With The Foulest Mou...

Two O levels. Three convictions for smash and grab in off licenses. Two for drunk driving. One for possession of amphetamine sulphate. General labouring and factory work.Attended charismatic Baptist church. Made girlfriend pregnant. Resigned from job as refuse collector, resigned church membership, returned library books, sold house, went to the Democratic Republic of Congo, then known as Zaire.Came back altered. Conscious decision to join bourgeoisie. Night classes for a y...

Comedian Tony Martin has strip-mined his often unremarkable life to tell sixteen small tales fraught with laughter and detail. Choosing to ignore his many dubious achievements in the world of Australian show business (Martin/Molloy, The Late Show, a short-lived but torrid affair with Sharon on Kath & Kim), New Zealand-born Martin instead recalls dozens of tiny life-changing moments that, frankly, could have happened to anybody.In damning personal testimony spannin...

'Brilliant . . . you won't be able to put it down'Telegraph'Arnott is a craftsman at what he does, a real cabinetmaker of pulp fiction, with everything nicely dovetailed'The Sunday TimesDuring the long hot summer of 1966, a senseless murder shocks the nation and brings the World Cup euphoria to an abrupt end. Yet it marks a beginning for three men, who are inextricably linked to the crime and its consequences...