The Doctor Is In . . . Again!Did the mega-bestselling Why Do Men Have Nipples? exhaust your curiosity about stuff odd, icky, kinky, noxious, libidinous, or just plain embarrassing? No, you say? Well, good, because the doctor and his able-bodied buddy are in! Again! Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D., now take on the differences between the sexes—those burning questions like Why doesn’t my husband ever listen? or Why does my wife ALWAYS have to pee? And of course, Why do ...

In this fiendishly original new novel, Mark Leyner is a leather-blazer-wearing, Piranha 793-driving, narcotic-guzzling monster who has potential rivals eliminated by his bionically enhanced bodyguards, has his internal organs tattooed, and eavesdrops on the erotic fantasies of Victoria's Secret models -- which naturally revolve around him.Leyner's jet-propelled roller derby through the cultures of celebrity, cyberpunk, and rabid egotism is exhilaratingly bizarre, exhaustingly funny...

Welcome to Mark Leyner's America, where you can order gallium arsenide sushi at a roadside diner, get loaded on a cocktail of growth hormones and anabolic steroids, and support your habit by appearing on TV game shows. Welcome to a wildly post-Einsteinian fictional universe where the locals include a speech pathologist with a waterbug fetish, a kamikaze airline pilot, and the lead singer for Brazil's most notoriously nihilistic samba band.

Did the mega-bestselling Why Do Men Have Nipples? exhaust your curiosity about stuff odd, icky, kinky, noxious, libidinous, or just plain embarrassing? ""No,"" you say? Well good, because the doctor and his able-bodied buddy are IN! Again! Now go-to authorities for that sort of thing, Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D., take on the differences between the sexes—those burning questions like, ""Why Doesn't My Husband Ever Listen?"" or ""Why Does My Wife ALWAYS Have to Pee?"" and o...

Is There a Doctor in the House?Finally, answers to all those strange questions you'd like to ask your own doctor but haven't had the guts (or more likely the time) to do so. If you've ever wanted to ask a doctor . . .How do people in wheelchairs have sex?Why do I get a killer headache when I suck down my milkshake too fast?Can I lose my contact lens inside my head forever?Why does asparagus make my pee smell?Why...

CONGRATULATIONS!Your purchase of this book means that the admissions committee has thoroughly reviewed your application and we are pleased to welcome you to the Why Do Men Have Nipples School of Medicine.**A not quite fully accredited institutionLet’s Play Doctor is your instant guide to becoming a Real Fake Doctor. At the Why Do Men Have Nipples School of Medicine, we offer an informative, immersive, and incredibly entertaining course of study that will giv...

A brilliant and utterly original new novel from Mark Leyner about a father and his intense and devout relationship with his daughter and with alcohol.An anthropologist and his daughter travel to Kermunkachunk, the capitol of Chalazia, to conduct research for an ethnography on the Chalazian Mafia Faction (a splinter group of the Chalazian Children's Theater).The book takes place over the course of a night at the Bar Pulpo, Kermunkachunk's #1 spoken-word kara...

An outrageous "novel" by the author of I Smell Esther Williams.In this fiendishly original novel, Mark Leyner is a leather-blazer-wearing, Piranha 793-driving, narcotic-guzzling monster who has potential rivals eliminated by his bionically enhanced bodyguards, has his internal organs tattooed, and eavesdrops on the erotic fantasies of Victoria's Secret models–fantasies that naturally revolve around him. Leyner's jet-propelled roller derby through the cultu...

Let's Play Doctor is your instant guide to becoming a Real Fake Doctor. At the Why Do Men Have Nipples School of Medicine, we offer an informative, immersive, and incredibly entertaining course of study that will give you the special skills needed to get your M.D. on! By following the lessons in Let's Play Doctor, you'll learn:Special mental exercises to give yourself that buff, bulging Doctor brainHow to impress your peers with big, polysyllabic, ...

From the bestselling and wildly imaginative novelist Mark Leyner, a romp through the excesses and exploits of gods and mortals.High above the bustling streets of Dubai, in the world's tallest and most luxurious skyscraper, reside the gods and goddesses of the modern world. Since they emerged 14 billion years ago from a bus blaring a tune remarkably similar to the Mister Softee jingle, they've wreaked mischief and havoc on mankind. Unable to control their jealousies...

Is There a Doctor in the House?Say you’re at a party. You’ve had a martini or three, and you mingle through the crowd, wondering how long you need to stay before going out for pizza. Suddenly you’re introduced to someone new, Dr. Nice Tomeetya. You forget the pizza. Now is the perfect time to bring up all those strange questions you’d like to ask during an office visit with your own doctor but haven’t had the guts (or more likely the time) to do so. You’re filled with liquid courag...

You know how it is . . . you're at a party, you've had a drink or two and then someone introduces you to a friend. He's a doctor. And it seems like the perfect time to ask all those strange questions you've always wondered about, but never had the courage to ask:Can poppy seeds make you test positive for heroin?What are goosebumps?Why does asparagus make your wee smell?Why do old people get hairy ears?Is it possible to lose your contact lenses inside you...