Following the phenomenal success of ‘Grumpy Old Men’, and ‘Grumpy Old Men on Holiday’, the guru of grump, David Quantick, takes a stand for miserable slobs everywhere against the self-help motivational mafia and keep-fit claptrap. The ultimate in stress-relief for the 21st-Century Grouch.Are you an irritable, crabby, cantankerous, malcontented old grump? Well relax, because you're not alone.Do you feel that the best way to cleanse your aura is to have trains that run on tim...

From the Emmy Award-winning writer of Avenue 5, Veep and The Thick of It comes a funny, violent and thought-provoking horror story like nothing you've seen before.Ricky Smart is a nobody, a Miami Beach paparazzo who scrapes a living snapping celebs. One day Ricky wakes up and realises there's something wrong with his hand. It's not his hand. In fact, it's someone else's hand. How does he know it's not his? Because it looks different, feel...

"David Quantick is one of the best kept secrets in the world of writing. He's smart, funny and unique. You should let yourself in on the secret."– Neil GaimanIt is March 1979 in DeKalb Illinois. Todd Milstead is a wannabe writer, a serial adulterer, and a jerk, only tolerated by his friends because he throws the best parties with the best booze. During one particular party, Todd is showing off his perfect recall, quoting poetry and literature word for word p...

"David Quantick is one of the best kept secrets in the world of writing. He's smart, funny and unique. You should let yourself in on the secret." – Neil GaimanFrom Emmy-award winning author David Quantick, Night Train is a science-fiction horror story like no other.A woman wakes up, frightened and alone - with no idea where she is. She's in a room but it's shaking and jumping like it's alive. Stumbling through a door, she realizes ...

The complete third series of musical comedies – as heard on BBC Radio 4. These musical comedies contain some of the most foot-tapping satire you’ll ever hear... * ‘Manager Mia’ – We follow the escapades of England football manager Sven-Göran Eriksson on and off the pitch, with a tribute to ABBA. * ‘SS Metaphor’ – An unbreakable love affair set aboard an unsinkable ship, involving Kate Moss and Pete O’Doherty. * ‘Oh What a Lovely Blair’ – A patriotic First World War musical set in the trenc...

How To Be A Writer is a collection of interviews with famous writers, performers and industry insiders that takes the reader through a writer’s day, from getting up to giving in. And, along the way, asks: When do you get ideas? When should you write? How do you deal with your money? Who do you have lunch with? And how do you keep going?Featuring JON RONSON, EMMA DONOGHUE, DENNIS KELLY, CAITLIN MORAN, JASON HAZELEY, JOEL MORRIS, SUZANNE MOORE, CATH...

From Emmy Award–winning author David Quantick, All My Colors is a darkly comic novel about a man who remembers a book that may not exist, with dire consequences. A bizarre, mind-bending story at the intersection of Richard Bachman, Charlie Kaufman, and Franz Kafka.It is March 1979 in DeKalb Illinois. Todd Milstead is a wannabe writer, a serial adulterer, and a jerk, only tolerated by his friends because he throws the best ...

'Best quiz book ever'HARRY HILL'Quantick is the Captain Beefheart of quizzing'MARK BILLINGHAM'The antidote to every deathly dull pub quiz you've ever been to. This is how a quiz book should be written - where having fun is the most important outcome'GARY WIGGLESWORTH, author of The Book Lover's Quiz BookDistinctive, unusual, difficult, but spectacularly entertaining, this quiz b...

How To Write Everything is the ultimate writer's handbook. It tells you about every aspect of writing, from having an idea to getting the idea out into the world and getting paid for it, too. It covers everything from journalism to screen-writing, from speeches to sketches, from sitcoms to novels. With thirty years' experience as an award-winning script-writer, journalist, author and broadcaster David Quantick is ideally suited, as a writer, to write this definitive writer's guide to writi...

So your husband/boyfriend/partner (delete as necessary) has just tipped over 35/40/45/50 (delete as necessary) and you can see that he's not quite as keen on Emmerdale as he once was. He's started to dress with his jeans hoiked too high like his hero Jeremy Clarkson and he's bought a home gym - the one recommended by George Clooney. Then there are those Harley Davison brochures delivered in brown envelopes. You've noticed he's started pulling in his beer gut when he's talks to his teenage ...

When Louie met Marcie, he knew they'd be friends for the rest of their lives. But he was only half right.What do you do when your best friend can't see you any more?Like, literally.And what do you do when your friend isn't there for you - because one of you isn't anywhere at all?Imagine a Friend by Emmy Award winning writer David Quantick is a story about happiness, friendship - and being invisible to the person you love most.

From Emmy-Award winning author David Quantick, Night Train is a science-fiction horror story like no other.A woman wakes up, frightened and alone – with no idea where she is. She's in a room but it's shaking and jumping like it’s alive. Stumbling through a door, she realizes she is in a train carriage. A carriage full of the dead. This is the Night Train. A bizarre ride on a terrifying locomotive, heading somewhere into the endless night. How did the woman get here? Who is she? And...