AS the twentieth century breathes its very last, with Britpop at its zenith, twenty-seven-year-old A&R man Steven Stelfox is slashing and burning his way through London's music industry. Blithely crisscrossing the globe in search of the next megahit—fueled by greed and inhuman quantities of cocaine—Stelfox freely indulges in an unending orgy of self-gratification. But the industry is changing fast and the hits are drying up, and the only way he's going to salvage his sagging career is by t...

Gary Irvine's wife refuses to sleep with him, so he pursues an even stingier mistress: golf. But despite his spending unconscionable amounts of time and money, his game is wretched. Until the day he takes a perfect swing . . . and then everything goes black.After waking up from a coma a few weeks later, with a golf-ball-sized dent in his temple, Gary discovers that his last perfect swing has been imprinted on his brain. However, his newfound prowess is accompanied by some ...

Susan Frobisher and Julie Wickham are turning sixty. Susan has just discovered that her recently deceased husband was not only a swinger but had run up a fortune in debts in pursuing his extravagant double life. Julie's not faring better: living in a council house and working in an old people's home, she's desperate for excitement.When the bank threatens to take Susan's beloved home to clear the debt, the women seek the help of an octogenarian gangster named Nails. Rather than let ...

_____________________________'Hilarious' ADAM KAY'Mind-blowingly brilliant' DAILY MAIL'Highly entertaining' EVENING STANDARD'Loved it' ROBERT WEBB_____________________________Frank Brill, a retired small-town newspaper editor, has just been given a terminal diagnosis.Rather than compile a bucket list of all the things he's...

GARY is a sweet and decent man. Only two things would improve his life - having children with his gorgeous wife Pauline, and a lower golf handicap. Both are unlikely.PAULINE is wondering how she ended up living in an ugly little house, driving a second-hand car and making a living dressing up as Tinkerbell. She's planning to leave Gary for a self-made carpet millionaire.FINDLAY, the Carpet King of Scotland, wants to trade in his obese wife for a younger model. But if he goe...

God takes a look at the Earth around the time of the Renaissance and everything looks pretty good – so he takes a holiday. In Heaven-time this is just a week’s fishing trip, but on Earth several hundred years go by. When God returns, he finds all hell has broken loose: world wars, holocausts, famine, capitalism and ‘fucking Christians everywhere’. There’s only one thing for it. They’re sending the kid back.JC, reborn, is a struggling musician in New York City, trying to teach the o...

***Now available for preorder: KILL 'EM ALL, the stunning sequel to KILL YOUR FRIENDS***The viciously funny novel by John Niven, bestselling author of Kill Your Friends and Straight White Male.What do you do when a homeless man knows your name?How about when he turns out to be a friend you haven’t seen in twenty years?Do you treat him to a hot meal and see him on his way?Give him a wad of mi...

AS the twentieth century breathes its very last, with Britpop at its zenith, twenty-seven-year-old A&R man Steven Stelfox is slashing and burning his way through London’s music industry. Blithely crisscrossing the globe in search of the next megahit—fueled by greed and inhuman quantities of cocaine—Stelfox freely indulges in an unending orgy of self-gratification. But the industry is changing fast and the hits are drying up, and the only way he’s going to salvage his sagging career is by t...

_____________________The long-awaited sequel to KILL YOUR FRIENDSA Guardian Book of the Year 2018It is 2017 – the time of Trump, Brexit and fake news. And time for the return of Steven Stelfox, former A&R man who made his millions from a hit reality TV show.Now Stelfox works occasionally as a music industry ‘consultant’. A fixer. He’s had a call from his old friend James Trellick, p...

Frederick John Niven, (born March 31, 1878, Valparaíso, Chile—died Jan. 30, 1944, Vancouver, B.C., Can.), was a regional novelist who wrote more than 30 novels, many of them historical romances, set in Scotland and Canada. Three of his best-known novels—The Flying Years (1935), Mine Inheritance (1940), and The Transplanted (1944)—form a trilogy dealing with the settlement of the Canadian west.Educated in Scotland, Niven worked in libraries in Glasgow and Edinburgh. He went to Canad...

AN INSTANT SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERSHORTLISTED FOR THE GORDON BURN PRIZESHORTLISTED FOR SCOTLAND'S NATIONAL BOOK AWARDA GUARDIAN BEST MEMOIR OF 2023A WATERSTONES BEST BOOK OF 2023John Niven’s little brother Gary was fearless, popular, stubborn, handsome, hilarious and sometimes terrifying. After years of chaotic struggle against the world took his own li...