After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is ""like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,"" has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:""That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.""""Do peop...

In the town of Ghostly, where everything is spooky, something really strange is going on: Books are disappearing! And not just any books—only those written by the famous author Edgar Bleek.Luckily ace reporter Dirk Bones is on the case. As Dirk tracks down information about the only clue—a weird spotted leaf—the mystery gets even more bizarre. What is happening in Ghostly?Expect the unexpected in this second Dirk Bones mystery about a fearless reporter in a town full of sil...

The cow, the deer, and the horse have four legs and a tail, just like Morris. But none of these animals is a moose! These different animals have one thing in common—their friendship.

Morris the Moose has never been to the circus, so his friend Boris takes him there. When the ringmaster invites Morris to be part of the show, the fun begins for everyone-except poor Boris!

Space Cat and his trusty robot, Earl, are forced to land their rocket on a strange planet. Space Cat has to find more fuel to get home. Will he ever blastoff again?

An exciting, gently spooky, and fun detective adventure!You'll join School Library Journal is welcoming this Level One I Can Read ""to the primer shelves both at Halloween time and throughout the year.""Dirk Bones and the Mystery of the Haunted House is a Level One I Can Read book, which means it’s perfect for children learning to sound out words and sentences. Whether shared at home or in a classroom, the short sentences, familiar words, ...

Morris the Moose can’t read or count, so he decides to go to school. After a day of ABCs and 123s, Morris is thrilled with all that he has learned.This classic silly Level One I Can Read is perfect for shared reading with a child.For fans of Danny and the Dinosaur, Sammy the Seal, or anyone who loves to read silly stories about animals.

From the #1 New York Times bestseller author of Sh*t My Dad Says, Justin Halpern, comes a laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching collection of personal stories about relationships with the opposite sex, from a first kiss to getting engaged and all the awkward moments in between. With Sh*t My Dad Says, Halpern brought his brand of talented comedic writing to the world. Now, with this equally poignant, hilarious, and provocative memoir, he establishes himself as ...

Marley's family has two new kittens—Lucky and Yow-Yow. Marley loves to teach his new friends all about life at the house, but can Marley learn a thing or two from them?

Matt Stevens is as tough as a steak from the school cafeteria. He’s a seventh-grade private eye, and he just did something he said he’d never do. He accepted a job from Vincent “Vinny Biggs” Biggio, the kid behind every illegal deal made at Franklin Middle School, from black market candy to forged hall passes.You see, life at the Frank is tough. Get on the wrong side of Vinny Biggs and you’ll find yourself in the Outs, the least popular “club” in school. How do you get there? Water (or any...

Snow is a 1998 New York Times Outstanding Book of the Year and a 1999 Caldecott Honor Book."It's snowing, said boy with dog."It's only a snowflake," said grandfather with beard.No one thinks one or two snowflakes will amount to anything. Not the man with the hat or the lady with the umbrella. Not even the television or the radio forecasters. But one boy and his dog have faith that the snow will amount to something ...

Michael Hague's beautifully illustrated, best-selling collection of traditional prayers. From "The Lord's Prayer" to "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep," the nineteen verses included are familiar, comforting, and appropriate for even the youngest child, while Hague's art is full of love and spirit. Together, art and text create a keepsake that presents a reassuring vision of the world to its smallest inhabitants.