A practical translation of the principles of attachment theory to nonmonogamous relationships.Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you’re striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner?Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using...

A manual for loving justly in a complex, power-laden world.A decade after the celebrated but controversial 2014 book, The New More Than Two is More Than Two for the post-#MeToo era. The entirely rewritten The New More Than Two represents a complete conceptual reorientation focused on care, mutual accountability and empathy. It rejects hyper-autonomy as a distortion of earlier polyamory discourse, introduces explicit material on abuse in a nonmonog...

A modern topology of nonmonogamy’s many possibilities—and consequences.“Can you love more than one person?” A lot of conversations about nonmonogamy start this way. When we discuss “opening” relationships, contemplate whether we want to be exclusive with our partners, or introduce multiple partners to friends and family, we are asking the people in our lives, and ourselves, to contend with this question.The answer is obvious, and misleading. The love one fe...

A reflection on the many manifestations of broken trust in nonmonogamous relationships, and how to heal from them.Nonmonogamy can assume many shapes, none of which can claim to be a “safe” model of intimacy. The jet-setting passport paramour who fits the needs of many far-flung lovers into a single carryon has as many opportunities to do right or wrong by their partners as the members of a homebound triad who prefer raising a family to raising hell on the nightlife...

A practical translation of the principles of attachment theory to nonmonogamous relationships.Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you’re striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner?Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using...

Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you're striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner? Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relat...

A modern topology of nonmonogamy’s many possibilities—and consequences.“Can you love more than one person?” A lot of conversations about nonmonogamy start this way. When we discuss “opening” relationships, contemplate whether we want to be exclusive with our partners, or introduce multiple partners to friends and family, we are asking the people in our lives, and ourselves, to contend with this question.The answer is obvious, and misleading. The love one fe...

"How do you deal with jealousy?" It's the first question many people ask when they hear about polyamory. Tools for dealing with jealous feelings are among the most basic resources in a well-equipped polyamory toolkit. Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux, authors of the popular polyamory book More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory, present Polyamory and Jealousy, part of the More Than Two Essentials series. The essentials take sections from More Than Two, expand on them, and prese...

A manual for loving justly in a complex, power-laden world.A decade after the celebrated but controversial 2014 book, The New More Than Two is More Than Two for the post-#MeToo era. The entirely rewritten The New More Than Two represents a complete conceptual reorientation focused on care, mutual accountability and empathy. It rejects hyper-autonomy as a distortion of earlier polyamory discourse, introduces explicit material on abuse in a nonmonog...

A reflection on the many manifestations of broken trust in nonmonogamous relationships, and how to heal from them.Nonmonogamy can assume many shapes, none of which can claim to be a “safe” model of intimacy. The jet-setting passport paramour who fits the needs of many far-flung lovers into a single carryon has as many opportunities to do right or wrong by their partners as the members of a homebound triad who prefer raising a family to raising hell on the nightlife...