From the most-read humor site on the internet, Cracked.comYOU MIGHT BE A ZOMBIE…You're going to wish you never picked up this book.Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in:* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.* The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might wa...

You are an idiot.Don't get defensive! It's not your fault. For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You do not have five senses. Your tongue doesn't have neatly segregated taste-bud zones. You don't know what the pyramids really looked like. You're even pooping wrong - Jesus, you're a wreck!But it's going to be okay. Because we're here to help. Packed with more sexy facts than the Encyclopedia Pornographica, the Cracked De-Textb...

You're going to wish you never picked up this book.Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in:A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.

From David Wong, the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes.Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR.You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature stimulates s...

John Dies at the End is a genre-bending, humorous account of two college drop-outs inadvertently charged with saving their small town—and the world—from a host of supernatural and paranormal invasions.Stop.You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands.No, don’t put it down. It’s too late. They’re watching you.My name is David. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change your...

Now in paperback, from a “multi-faceted, medium-hopping, culture skewering performer” (SPIN), this is a journey through the world of Patton Oswalt, best known for his roles in film (Big Fan and Ratatouille) and television (The King of Queens and The United States of Tara), but also beloved for his ascerbic, highly eloquent, and wildly funny standup comedy.Prepare yourself for a journey through the world of Patto...

I'll Mature When I'm Dead is the New York Times bestseller from "the funniest man in America" (New York Times). Let Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and nationally unrecognized voice of maturity Dave Barry make the journey to adulthood a little easier—and a lot funnier.Not everyone has to be dragged kicking and screaming through adulthood. Dave Barry will help through this process—with his hilarious takes on parenting, changing se...

The Extravaganza of the Seas is a five-thousand-ton cash cow, a top-heavy tub whose sole function is to carry gamblers three miles from the Florida coast, take their money, then bring them back so they can find more money. In the middle of a tropical storm one night, these characters are among the passengers it carries: Fay Benton, a single mom and cocktail waitress desperate for something to go right for once; Johnny and the Contusions, a ship’s band with so little talent they ar...

From the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, World War Z, The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now.Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to surv...

Bloodier than Fried Green Tomatoes!Funnier than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre!Welcome to Gil's All Night Diner, where zombie attacks are a regular occurrence and you never know what might be lurking in the freezer. . .Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of h...

Is There a Doctor in the House?Finally, answers to all those strange questions you'd like to ask your own doctor but haven't had the guts (or more likely the time) to do so. If you've ever wanted to ask a doctor . . .How do people in wheelchairs have sex?Why do I get a killer headache when I suck down my milkshake too fast?Can I lose my contact lens inside my head forever?Why does asparagus make my pee smell?Why...

From Robert Brockway, Sr. Editor and Columnist of Cracked.com, comes The Unnoticeables, a funny and frightening urban fantasy.There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is “you” gets solved.Carey doesn’t much like that ide...