Fire ants. Fraud. Footie pajamas.Twins Edgar and Ellen live alone -- their parents disappeared years ago, and who can blame them? -- in the quaint, little town of Nod's Limbs, in a grim, gray house overlooking the cemetery and the junkyard. They spend their days avoiding Heimertz, the mysterious accordion-playing caretaker; pestering Pet, a hairy, one-eyed creature of indeterminate species and gender; and wreaking havoc on the hapless citizens of Nod's Limbs.

Two heads are better than one...With nothing less than the future of humanity at stake, it's up to Edgar and Ellen to thwart Stephanie Knightleigh's dastardly scheme to raid all the world's balm springs -- even if it means separating for the first time in their lives. Edgar's pursuit of the Midway Irregulars leads him to the forests of Cougar Falls and an unlikely partnership with an eccentric professional monster hunter, while Ellen and Pet find themselves in the ...

Glaciers! Snow monsters! Derflootle! The twins are about to get iced.Edgar and Ellen's pursuit of their nemesis, Stephanie Knightleigh, leads them to Frøsthaven, an Arctic village whose cheerful citizens and strange customs remind them of home. What makes this place a sugary sweet duplicate of Nod's Limbs? The secret, alas, is upon the forbidden slopes of the Glöggenheim, where dwells something that doesn't take kindly to being disturbed.

After finally settling into her new life at the Citadel, Thalia is reunited with her father, Bearen, the leader of the reclusive Valdyrstahl Clan.Forced to leave the school and return home to the snowy mountains, Thalia is surprised to find she is engaged to a man she doesn't remember. When she rejects the betrothal, her father organizes a tournament for her hand in marriage.Thalia will risk everything, even banishment to try and win the tournament herself and prove that sh...

"...we are all Death’s pupils, we practitioners—students of the great healer."When magic broke free in my blood, I chose to follow our ancient family path and become a practitioner. I'm learning to heal, and to protect innocents. I dip into minds, stalk vampires, and set wards by the light of the moon. I can hear the children of the night calling.But there are other families...and other paths. Families with twisted ambitions and fright...

Everything Aoife thought she knew about the world was a lie. There is no Necrovirus. And Aoife isn't going to succomb to madness because of a latent strain—she will lose her faculties because she is allergic to iron. Aoife isn't human. She is a changeling—half human and half from the land of Thorn. And time is running out for her.When Aoife destroyed the Lovecraft engine she released the monsters from the Thorn Lands into the Iron Lands and now she must find a way to seal the gates...

What happens when a science geek and magic collide?Be careful what you wish for. Really. Because wishes are bad. Very bad. They can get you trapped in fantasy worlds full of killer bunny rabbits, evil aunts, and bothersome bacteria, for example. Or at least that's Ralph's experience. He's been asked to spend the summer with his strange British relatives at their old manor house in order to set up their Wi-Fi network. But there's much more to it than that, of course. It's just that nobody t...

This is a serial fantasy novel that will be released in regular installments. Watch for The Black Act: Witch Twins Saga – The Complete Serial Novel coming soon, with an introduction from a special guest author. The history of a curse is filled with bloody battles, bitter hatred, and dark secrets. Through five generations, ghosts of war haunt the wise women. When the rebellion of Glenna ends, their curse sleeps bound in the Tunnels of the Dead, waiting for its chance to re-a...

A resilient and quirky colony of church mice fears another Great X more than they fear cats. Under Mouse Mistress Hildegarde’s leadership, they save themselves from one danger after another—sometimes just by the skin of their tails! Can one ultimate act of bravery during the feast day of St. Francis get Father Murphy to bless these mice and keep them safe forever?Rife with humor and personality, this young middle-grade novel has an old-fashioned feel with the makings of a modern cl...

East Africa. The great golden age of the safari, when men came from all around the world to Africa for the opportunity to shoot animals in the wild.Unfortunately, Charles Waverly-Alcott hates hunting.Charles would rather stay at home and read a good book, but his father, Sir Edmund, a great huntsman, has pulled Charles from school in England to go on at hunt in Africa. Charles can't understand why, as his father barely tolerates his presence on goo...

Chloe Masters life is in disarray. Her best friend Edgar Magnus has been kidnapped by her mother. The Detective Inspectors of the HVO have been compromised and appear to be helping in the crime. All but one that is, Declan Hardcastle, a young DI who is more than willing to help Chloe in her quest. But is he looking for more than just friendship?Her friends are spread far and wide; Jess has begun her apprenticeship in Paris while Slade is working for the Impossible Engineers. Nights...

Q: How do you find a missing barber?A: Comb the city.Knock, knock.Who's there?Apollo.Apollo who?Apologize for not answering sooner!Bob Phillips adds to his bestselling collection of joke books (nearly four million copies sold) with this collection sure to delight kids and pester parents.Within these pages, seekers of silly will discover a variety of wit—crazy questions, daffy dialogues, knock knock jokes, and more. In addition...