In divorce and co-parenting, not only do parents need to deal with their own emotions, they may be faced with a daily barrage of hostile calls, texts, social media blasts, and/or emails. How can you regain a sense of control and peace for your own sake and for the kids? For more than a decade, the BIFF method of responding to hostile and misinforming conversation has been used by thousands of people. This book can help you reduce conflict and regain your sanity by teaching what to write, a...

People with high conflict personalities (HCPs) clog our courts as plaintiffs with inappropriate claims against their personal "targets of blame," and as defendants who have harmed others and need to be stopped. Everybody knows someone with a High Conflict Personality. "How can he be so unreasonable?" "Why does she keep fighting? Can't she see how destructive she is?" "Can you believe they're going to court over ______?" Some HCPs are more difficult than others, but they tend to share a sim...

This is Bill Eddy's book filled with lots of practical methods for handling High Conflict People (HCPs) in any setting, including neighbor disputes, workplace conflicts, family battles, with strangers, etc. HCPs target those close to them and people in positions of authority, so in this book Bill focuses on what to do when YOU are the Target of Blame—and how to avoid (or prevent) being one for long. It is organized around 12 key Tips (5 Do’s and 7 Don’ts), that simplify large concepts into...

The level of stress and conflict in today's world is higher than seen in decades. We all can use tools for managing the emotions this has caused. At the same time, there also appear to be more "high conflict" people who are preoccupied with blaming others and verbally venting or attacking those around them. Yet, these upset emotions and conflicts can often be calmed immediately through the use of a simple EAR Statement™, a method developed and refined by Bill Eddy over the past fifteen yea...

No, it’s not just your imagination—more and more people in the workplace today have high-conflict personalities. Co-workers, clients, even bosses are behaving in narcissistic or bullying ways, choosing targets and then placing blame on them, treating them with disdain, or otherwise acting in aggressive, inappropriate ways. Some go so far as to spread damaging rumors, harass, or directly sabotage their targets, among other extreme behaviors. These are not people who are just having an occas...

We live in an age of rapid change and instant communication. We also live in a Culture of Blame and Disrespect… Has anyone ever told you: “It’s all YOUR fault!” “You should be ashamed of yourself!” “You’re a disgrace to your _________________!” [family][community][country][team][profession][party][you fill in the blank] “What’s the matter with you? Are you crazy? Stupid? Immoral? Unethical? Evil?” And then were you told everything that’s “wrong” with you and how you should behave? It’s Not...

We live in an age of rapid change and instant communication. We also live in a Culture of Blame and Disrespect. Managing your responses to high-conflict emails, texts, letters, and social media meltdowns is imperative. A BIFF response can be applied in any communication anywhere - on the Internet, in a letter or in person. It can be used at work, earning you respect and success. It can help you get along with difficult family members, friends, neighbors and others anywhere in your life. BI...

In this tenth anniversary edition of Don't Alienate the Kids! attorney, mediator, and therapist Bill Eddy shows readers how to protect children from the harm of alienation and high-conflict divorce, boosting their resilience by teaching them to think flexibly, manage their emotions, and moderate their behaviors.We all know breakups can get ugly. But sometimes they can get downright vicious, with badmouthing, brainwashing, and allegations of alienation, child abuse and domestic violence, al...

Blame abounds! People confront us at work, the store, and online. Nerves get on edge. We get stuck blaming others for anything that goes wrong. With high-conflict people increasing in society, the twenty-four-hour news cycle, and social media, we hear constantly about the worst behavior. The temptation is to react and blame. Instead, consider using the simple methods taught in this book for getting them out of the past and away from blaming everyone else. Get them to quickly focus on the f...

Don't Alienate the Kids! is a fresh examination of the child alienation problem from the perspective of a lawyer/therapist/mediator, who also trains judges on managing high-conflict disputes. Author Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., doesn't just analyze the debate (Parental Alienation Syndrome vs. Child Abuse Presumption); he also proposes his own theory of "1000 Little Bricks," based on recent breakthroughs in brain research about how children learn. In his theory, there are no bad parents, just bad...

People with High-Conflict Personalities (HCP's) are increasing in our society and in our courts. As litigants, they have a familiar pattern of high-intensity emotions, distortions of information, and self-defeating behavior. Their prolonged disputes are characterized by unchanging hostility, replacement of resolved issues with new unresolved issues, and lack of insight and behavior change. Judicial officers often refer to them as "frequent filers" who can't let go of the litigation process...

Why do so many of us commit to the wrong person – sometimes more than once? While most believe that attraction and compatibility are the keys to relationship success, in reality these are red flags in 15-20% of the population. When it comes to love, the brain is irrational and short-sighted. We make decisions based on incomplete information, biased understanding, and strong emotion. Love truly is blind. That's why you need dating radar—it gives you a way to detect hazards you might otherwi...