A collection of short fiction that's "fearless, fun, and sometimes filthy" (Alice Sebold, bestselling author of The Lovely Bones).Called "wildly inventive, profane, and hilarious" by Bret Easton Ellis, these short stories from the author of the cult classic Dear Dead Person head in countess surprising directions—from a skiing Hitler on the bunny slope, to a man dealing with dubbing porn tapes and cleaning up an overflowing toilet, to the sex lives...

Get a head-start on learning one of SQL Server 2019’s latest and most impactful features—Big Data Clusters—that combines large volumes of non-relational data for analysis along with data stored relationally inside a SQL Server database. This book provides a first look at Big Data Clusters based upon SQL Server 2019 Release Candidate 1. Start now and get a jump on your competition in learning this important new feature.Big Data Clusters is a feature set covering data virtualization,...

Use this guide to one of SQL Server 2019’s most impactful features—Big Data Clusters. You will learn about data virtualization and data lakes for this complete artificial intelligence (AI) and machine learning (ML) platform within the SQL Server database engine. You will know how to use Big Data Clusters to combine large volumes of streaming data for analysis along with data stored in a traditional database. For example, you can stream large volumes of data from Apache Spark in real time w...

Learn Business Intelligence Markup Language (Biml) for automating much of the repetitive, manual labor involved in data integration. We teach you how to build frameworks and use advanced Biml features to get more out of SQL Server Integration Services (SSIS), Transact-SQL (T-SQL), and SQL Server Analysis Services (SSAS) than you ever thought possible.The first part of the book starts with the basics—getting your development environment configured, Biml syntax, and scripting essenti...

The bestselling, wonderfully unconventional, “warmly conspiratorial…seriously good” (The New York Times) memoir-in-letters from the Tony, Emmy, and Golden Globe Award–winning actress that has received fabulous and wide praise. “There is no one else quite like Mary-Louise Parker…Funny, heartbreaking and profound” (ELLE).An extraordinary literary memoir, Dear Mr. You renders the singular arc of a woman’s life through letters Mary-Louise Par...

This book delivers what the title states: It describes the 101 most important UNIX and Linux commands and system calls. The book bridges the gap between on-line tutorials and manual pages on one hand, and books of 1,000 pages or more that explore the nuances of many shell commands in exhaustive detail. While most of these sources provide excellent information, they do not really solve the plight of the novice user, nor do they fully answer the questions that more experienced, and even expe...

"Hilarious, smart, and utterly addicting. Watch out, Nora Ephron." -Valerie FrankelJenna McCarthy presents an uproarious but insightful peek behind the curtains at the unholy state of matrimony. With ballsy wit and bawdy humor, she explores everything from male domestic idiocy and the frustrating misfires in spousal communication to how to stay true to the peskiest of vows: forsaking all others. Part in-your-face guide, part brutal confession, this book is...

Lemon has three mothers: a biological one she's never met, her adopted father's suicidal ex, and Drew, a school principal who hasn’t left the house since she was stabbed by a student. She has one deadbeat dad, one young cancer-riddled protégé, and two friends, the school tramp and a depressed poetFiguring the numbers are against her, Lemon just can’t be bothered trying to fit in. She spurns fashion, television, and even the mall. She reads Mary Wollstonecraft and gets pissed off th...

Here are more scathingly funny tales from the wild side! Laurie Notaro survived the debauched ride of her twenties and the bumpy road to matrimony. Now she’s ready to take on the thirtysomething years . . . and almost middle age has never been more hilarious.Laurie is married, mortgaged, and now—miraculously—employed in the corporate world, discovering that bosses come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees of mental stability. After maxing out her last good credit card at Bana...

She thought she’d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!” to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. A...

For beginning programmers, this updated edition answers all C programming questions. This bestseller talks to readers at their level, explaining every aspect of how to get started and learn the C language quickly. Readers also find out where to learn more about C. This book includes tear-out reference card of C functions and statements, a hierarchy chart, and other valuable information. It uses special icons, notes, clues, warnings, and rewards to make understanding easier. And the clear a...

Boiled-down essentials of the top-selling Schaum's Outline series for the student with limited timeWhat could be better than the bestselling Schaum's Outline series? For students looking for a quick nuts-and-bolts overview, it would have to be Schaum's Easy Outline series. Every book in this series is a pared-down, simplified, and tightly focused version of its predecessor. With an emphasis on clarity and brevity, each new title features a streamlined and updated f...