The Tenth Anniversary Edition of the New York Times bestselling book that has sold over half a million copies in paperback."I was addicted to "Bewitched" as a kid. I worshipped Darren Stevens the First. When he'd come home from work and Samantha would say, ‘Darren, would you like me to fix you a drink?' He'd always rest his briefcase on the table below the mirror in the foyer, wipe his forehead with a monogrammed handkerchief and say, ‘Better make it a double.'" (from Chapter Two)

The #1 New York Times bestselling memoir from Augusten Burroughs, Running with Scissors, n****ow a Major Motion Picture!Running with Scissors is the true story of a boy whose mother (a poet with delusions of Anne Sexton) gave him away to be raised by her psychiatrist, a dead-ringer for Santa and a lunatic in the bargain. Suddenly, at age twelve, Augusten Burroughs found himself living in a dilapidated Victorian in perfect squalor. The doc...

The instant New York Times bestsellerLust: 1. intense sexual desire or appetite2.a passionate or overmastering desire or craving3.ardent enthusiasm; zest; relish.Wonder: 1. something strange and surprising; a cause of surprise, astonishment,or admiration2. the emotion excited by what is strange and surprising; a feeling of surprised or puzzled interest, sometimes tinged with admiration3. a miraculous dee...

This Is How - Survival Advice for Life's Toughest Challenges from New York Times Bestselling Author Augusten BurroughsIf you're fat and fail every diet, if you're thin but can't get thin enough, if you lose your job, if your child dies, if you are diagnosed with cancer, if you always end up with exactly the wrong kind of person, if you always end up alone, if you can't get over the past, if your parents are insane and ruining your life, if you really and t...

The hilarious first novel by the #1 bestselling author of Running with Scissors, Dry, A Wolf at the Table, and You Better Not Cry, Sellevision is Augusten Burrough's darkly funny and vastly entertaining skewering of a very troubled home-shopping channel.Welcome to the world of Sellevision, America's premier retail broadcasting network. When Max Andrews, the much loved and handsome (that is, lonely and gay) host of a "Toys for Tots" segme...

A Spellbinding Memoir of Witchcraft, Family Secrets, and the Power of Love"Here's a partial list of things I don't believe in: God. The Devil. Heaven. Hell. Bigfoot. Ancient Aliens. Past lives. Life after death. Vampires. Zombies. Reiki. Homeopathy. Rolfing. Reflexology. Note that 'witches' and 'witchcraft' are absent from this list. The thing is, I wouldn't believe in them, and I would privately ridicule any idiot who did, except for one thing: I am a witch."...

"As a little boy, I had a dream that my father had taken me to the woods where there was a dead body. He buried it and told me I must never tell. It was the only thing we'd ever done together as father and son, and I promised not to tell. But unlike most dreams, the memory of this one never left me. And sometimes…I wasn't altogether sure about one thing: was it just a dream?"When Augusten Burroughs was small, his father was a shadowy presence in his life: a form on the stairs, a co...

With gimleteyed wit and illuminated prose, Augusten shows how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very, very best.You've eaten too much candy at Christmas...but have you ever eaten the face off a six-foot stuffed Santa? You've seen gingerbread houses...but have you ever made your own gingerbread tenement? You've woken up with a hangover...but have you ever woken up next to Kris Kringle himself? Augusten Burroughs has, and in th...

From the number-one bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry comes TAKE FIVE, a mini collection of true stories that give voice to the thoughts that we all have but dare not mention—stories that shine a flashlight into both dark and hilarious places. TAKE FIVE includes the following four favorite previously-published essays plus one brand-new, never-been-published essay by Augusten Burroughs:--MINT THRESHOLD--UNCLEAR SAILING--COMMERICAL BREAK--DEBBIE'...

The beloved memoirist and bestselling author of RUNNING WITH SCISSORS returns with his first novel in nearly thirty years.Set in 1990s New York City, The Debris Field follows a wealthy nuclear family—a photographer mother, an early dot-com squatter father, their loner son, and fashion-obsessed daughter—who have everything. Or do they?Living bored in the ultimate apartment, enjoying fancy takeout, their household help, and the ultimate white privile...

From the #1 bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry—a contagiously funny, heartwarming, shocking, twisted, and absolutely magical collection. True stories that give voice to the thoughts we all have but dare not mention. It begins with a Tang Instant Breakfast Drink television commercial when Augusten was seven. Then there is the contest of wills with the deranged cleaning lady. The execution of a rodent carried out with military precision and utter horror. Te...

Jeremy Schreiber was on top of the world—athletic, newly married, successful. And then something went terribly wrong. In this moving memoir, he shares his journey after he received a terrifying diagnosis: ALS.As the devastating disease robbed him of movement and speech, he was abandoned by his wife and betrayed by a society that shuns people with disabilities. But it’s not all doom and gloom. He found love, support, and a powerful purpose.While fighting for his independence...