This all started when Steve wouldn’t take out the trash. A short story from the acclaimed collection Guys Read: Funny Business, edited by Jon Scieszka.

Love & Profanity features more than forty brief, brilliant, and unforgettable true stories from writers both renowned and on the rise. The special edition e-book also includes the winner and five finalists from the "Tell Your True Story" contest, sponsored by Switch Press and Wattpad, the world's largest community of readers and writers. In these stories you will discover strange and surprising scenes of people coming of age amidst the everyday intensity of teenage life. You will witness t...

Love & Profanity features more than forty brief, brilliant, and unforgettable true stories from writers both renowned and on the rise. Discover strange and surprising scenes of people coming of age amidst the everyday intensity of teenage life. Witness transformative moments arising from the mundane. Behold the young adult in full splendor and horror, bursting with love and profanity.

New York Times Bestseller! 5 Starred Reviews!"Will have listeners in stitches." —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)"Purely absurd, sidesplitting humor." —Booklist (starred review)"Demands bombastic, full-volume performances." —Publishers Weekly (starred review)"Perfect for a guffawing share with younger sibs or buddy read." —BCCB (starred rev...

Long before Artemis Fowl appeared in Eoin Colfer’s hit series, he was born in the form of Eoin’s younger brother Donal--the “young criminal mastermind” of the family. And on one particular spring day, he concocts his most sinister plot yet. A short story from the acclaimed collection Guys Read: Funny Business, edited by Jon Scieszka.

Jeff Kinney is pretty much the nicest guy you can hope to meet. Except when it comes to his brother, Patrick. The two of them have been locked in a battle for supremacy since they were young—a war that continues to this day. A short story from the acclaimed collection Guys Read: Funny Business, edited by Jon Scieszka.

Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it's just not the same.Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the l...

"An essential purchase that is simultaneously funny, frank, and soothing. A perfect first day read-aloud."― School Library Journal, starred reviewA heartwarming and clever first day of school tale, from New York Times bestsellers Adam Rex (The Legend of Rock, Paper, Scissors) and Christian Robinson (Last Stop on Market Street).It's the first day of school at Frederick Douglass Elementary and everyone's ju...

From author Adam Rex comes the first book in the Cold Cereal Saga—a hilarious, clever, and action-packed adventure series with an educational hook.Scottish Play Doe—aka Scott—is used to being a little different. Sometimes he hallucinates things no one else can see. But then one of these hallucinations tries to steal Scott's backpack, and he comes face-to-face with an honest-to-goodness leprechaun named Mick who's on the run from, of all things, the Goodco Cereal Company. With the h...

National treasures, criminal masterminds, and…secret agent librarians?Steve Brixton wants to be a crime-busting detective—just like his favorite crime-busting detectives, the Bailey Brothers. Turns out, though, that real life is nothing like the stories.When Steve borrows the wrong book from the library, he finds himself involved in a treasonous plot that pits him against helicopter-rappelling librarians, has him outwitting a gaggle of police, and sees him ...

Steve Brixton, top detective, rescuer of quilts and also America, has opened up his own agency. He has a crime lab that doubles as a bedroom. He has a chum named Dana. And he has lots of business cards.So when the Fairview Diamond goes missing, he knows just what to do. But when a simple track-and-retrieve spirals out of control, Steve finds himself in the middle of his biggest case yet: MacArthur Bart, the author of Steve’s beloved Bailey Brothers books, has been ...

We all know nothing rhymes with orange. But how does that make Orange feel? Well, left out! When a parade of fruit gets together to sing a song about how wonderful they are—and the song happens to rhyme—Orange can't help but feel like it's impossible for him to ever fit in. But when one particularly intuitive Apple notices how Orange is feeling, the entire English language begins to become a bit more inclusive. Beloved author-illustrator Adam Rex has created a hilarious yet poignant parabl...